Rangers: The questions continue

The now traditional Thursday night Rangers post.

Have we moved on? Or are we descending further into farce?

Nodody seems to know exactly what's happening. The lunatics have taken over the asylum. But who actually owns the asylum? And will another group of lunatics be happy to take over in the next few weeks?

We've even discovered that a legal glitch means Rangers might not actually have been in administration after all.

Ticketus and the adminstrators are arguing in court over money at the same time as Ticketus are publicly backing the consortium led by Blue Knight Paul Murray.

HMRC continue to circle with a grim determination. They won't go away.

Craig Whyte is gone for now, but is surely not yet the irrelevance the administrators are trying to paint him as.

Brian Kennedy, owner of rugby's Sale Sharks, one time suitor of Hibs and Stockport County's bête noire, has said he'll reluctantly buy Rangers if nobody else will.

That's the sort of commitment you get from the vicar at a parish jumble sale when trade is slow at the cake stall.

It's not, perhaps, the kind of commitment you want from the potential saviour of a stricken company.

Send in the clowns.

Or, following an email error with the launch of a new fans fund, send the clowns your money.

Another week and it's still a mess. The prospect of a quick resolution looks ever further away.

The longer it drags on the more important questions about the future go unanswered. And the more uncertain that future looks for Rangers.

The SPL seem to think announcing an investigation has bought them the right to stay silent.

They'll need to start speaking soon.

Maybe chief executive Neil Doncaster could share his past experiences of financial uncertainty. Like the time he was on the English Football League board that allowed the Leeds United phoenix company to keep their league place.

My uncharitable impression is that Doncaster is an expert in few things. But this is one of his specialist subjects: why isn't he sharing?

Across the Hampden corridor the SFA, fresh from the less than surprising discovery that Craig Whyte had shown their fit and proper person procedures to be unfit and improper, have announced a range of charges against both Whyte and the club.

Whyte is accused of breaching two disciplinary rules while Rangers face five accusations.

Fines, suspensions and expulsion could all be on the table when a Judicial Panel meets on 29th March.

At the same time the SFA have found themselves dragged into the mess thanks to president Campbell Ogilivie's previous involvement at Ibrox.

Well, stone the crows! Who on earth would have predicted that Ogilvie's career history would soon embroil the SFA in this whole sorry mess?

As I said the other week, Ogilvie might be totally innocent of any wrongdoing - Rangers, we should remember, have not yet been found guilty in the "big tax case" - and that means any hounding he has had or is set to suffer in the future could be grossly unfair.

But perception counts for a lot. And perceptions are currently tarnishing him.

Crucially that means the SFA, who should be providing leadership in this situation, look to be suffering yet another lame duck presidency. One that allegedly forced someone in the organisation to call an award winning Channel 4 journalist "pig headed" and accuse him of "lying" this week.

I'm one of those hardy souls who'll say that the SFA have done some good work in the past few months. The Ogilvie controversy will put that at risk.

Politicians are often forced to resign and fight to clear their names outside the cabinet. Ogilvie will do more harm than good if he chooses to try and clear his while wearing an SFA blazer.

Chick Young pointed out during the week that Ogilvie gave up a well paid job at Hearts to take on this unpaid labour of love at Hampden. That, we were left to infer, is how much he cares about Scottish football.

If he really cared he wouldn't want to see the SFA compromised by his continued presence. Innocent people were always going to suffer in this affair, Ogilvie at least has it in his power to reduce some of the damage to the game.

Did someone mention Chick Young?

Ah, Chick. On Tuesday night Chick used Radio Scotland's Sportsound to defend Ogilvie. Defend him as if his life depended on it.

An SFA statement the next day quite comprehensively contradicted the gospel according to Chick.

That's not unusual.

For Chick the story of Rangers and their administration has been a tour de force in wrongness, an era defining performance in barking up the wrong tree.

Maybe it's time the BBC did some liquidating of their own.

More:

• STV on the SFA charges against Rangers
• The Drum on Channel 4's Alex Thomson

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Chick gets Walter to lay an egg

Old 'uns but good 'uns.

Having been nice(ish) about Chick Young in the last post it's time to redress the balance. So sit back and enjoy as Chico gets owned by Walter Smith.

Given some of the questions Chick asks I'd be amazed if more footage like this doesn't exist elsewhere. All links gratefully received.

I'm sure there's also a story about Alex Ferguson attempting to throttle Archie Macpherson just minutes after Aberdeen had won the title. I believe this took place in the tunnel at Easter Road so I doubt it was filmed but we can but hope.

NB: Walter's language makes it unlikely that you'd want to watch them at work with the sound turned up. On a similar theme I'd suggest a Google image search for "Chick Young" with safe search turned off might not be that safe for work. I feel quite flushed just thinking about it.

When the Saints

A live blog on Sunday to mark the first national final of the season. If only to chart the time it takes for Chick Young to explode as both his teams battle it out at Hampden.

Actually Chico has quite a readable blog on the BBC site about St Mirren's propensity for self destruction. Even if we must question a man with his (alleged?) loyalties writing the following with a straight face:

Unite and realise that days like Sunday - national finals - are collector's items for clubs like ours.

Bonus rows always annoy me before big games like this. A total kick in the face to fans who are paying big money to go and support their team. And, yes, Gus McPherson is struggling in the league at the moment. But this is a cup final. The fans should at least fall in behind the manager - their most successful for years - until the big match is out of the way.

A full preview to follow but a depressing statistic for St Mirren. Rangers haven't lost a league cup final to anyone but Celtic since 1989/90. Aberdeen beat them 2-1 in that game with a Paul Mason double enough to overcome a Mark Walters penalty after extra time.

Before that it was Dundee in 1951/52. So they've got a bit of form going into this one.

I was actually hit by a wave of nostalgia when I saw the teams that Aberdeen and Rangers started with back in 1989:

Aberdeen: Theo Snelders, Stewart McKimmie, Alex McLeish, Willie Miller, David Robertson, Bobby Connor, Eoin Jess, Jim Bett, Brian Grant, Charlie Nicholas, Paul Mason

Rangers: Chris Woods, Gary Stevens, Richard Gough, Terry Butcher, Stuart Munro, Trevor Steven, Ian Ferguson, Ray Wilkins, Mark Walters, Ally McCoist, Mo Johnston

Charlie Nicholas also played a role the last time either of the ugly sisters lost the League Cup final to a non Old Firm side. On that day in 1994/95 he was playing against Raith Rovers.

The Chance Of A Second Chance?

It did not take Chick Young long. In his obituary of George Burley's reign as national team boss the great oracle of our game points out that a new manager means a new chance for Kris Boyd, Allan McGregor and Barry Ferguson.

Fair enough. A new broom and new beginnings. No manager taking the job should have his hands tied.

Likewise the new man (if it is indeed it is a man: let's not reduce our options by ruling out half the population without serious consideration) should not be the subject of a press campaign to get anybody included in his squads.

Barry Ferguson is the past and we need to be looking at the future. He could have had a role as the team's elder statesman. But age did not bring maturity. The drinking perhaps should have been an internal issue. When it erupted in public, however, it all but sealed Burley's fate.

Was the captain contrite? No, like a spoilt schoolboy given a national stage he chose to act like a prat and offend the nation. That rightly ended his national career. Full stop.

Allan McGregor was, perhaps, misled by Ferguson. But Allan McGregor is not 10 years old and should have known better than to get involved in prolonged sequence of acting like a bloody idiot. Will any manager feel he can trust him? As my old headmaster so nearly used to say: "Sorry, Allan, but if you fly with the craws then you run the risk getting a bloody great bullet up your arse."

Which leaves Kris. Dear Kris. The Boyd Wonder.

Is the national squad of a country struggling with paltry resources the place for a drama queen? Kris Boyd may think he turned his back on George Burley but in reality he threw a gigantic hissy fit that was as much of a two fingered salute to the Tartan Army as anything Barry and Allan managed.

With the supporters downbeat and apathetic will they be willing to welcome back someone who turned his back on them? Will the players who have been through these lowest of times welcome back the fellow warrior who walked away?

For what he will contribute to the cause is Kris Boyd worth taking a risk on? I'd say the divisive nature of any recall would be a hell of a call for the new manager. If it was me I'd leave him in the cold.

Yes, I know he's a prolific goalscorer. But here's a thing. All I've heard over the weekend is the wonders that Walter Smith managed as Scotland manager. Well Walter shares Burley's view of Boyd's effectiveness in big games.

So the new manager has a choice of ignoring Boyd or picking him for the off chance of a hat trick against San Marino and then a flounce off home when he's not picked against Spain. Mud sticks. It's Boyd's own fault that he's done most of the mud slinging himself.

In a rich man's world

Such has been the forensic focus on Ranger’s perilous finances over the last couple of days that following Scottish football has been like studying for an accountancy degree. Not so much fans with typewriters as fans with calculators.

To save everybody the hassle of crawling into every nook and cranny of the internet in the search for news about the country’s most bombastic football club collapsing into poverty I thought I’d do it for you.

First up is the man who, along with Walter Smith, broke the story of the bank’s increasing involvement. The game’s most fearless interrogator, the Paxman of Paisley, has his say on the BBC website.

Chick Young is not slow to mention that it was his exclusive "that launched a thousand headlines and a million theories." Other than that he has little new to add and even spends a bit of time hitting out at his critics. This is an increasing theme with Chick this year. You’d think that if you go out of the door every morning as “Chick Young” you would have a pretty thick skin but he’s getting increasingly riled by the brickbats that fly his way and can’t seem to come to terms with the idea that the fans can now voice their opinions easily and instantly.

Still we shouldn’t get on Chick’s back too much as his mind is, understandably, elsewhere as he waits to see if a buyer can be found for his beloved football club.

Apparently there are already a couple of offers in for St Mirren as well.

Two "quality" daily newspapers and two sides to every story. The bank is running Rangers say The Herald - which also profiles the man who predicted exactly this kind of unsavoury Rangers crisis.

No, the bank is not running Rangers says The Scotsman. The Edinburgh paper goes on to speculate about Martin Bain who is, apparently, hanging his designer threads on a very shoogly peg indeed at the moment. Ah well, Martin maybe you can go back to the modeling.

The Herald says Rangers’ woes will not necessarily affect Celtic and might even precipitate a decisive parting of the ways between the two chums. Rangers are agitating to get out of Scotland while Celtic are prepared to wait for a perfect deal because they are already financially secure. An interesting thought but the appeal of either club is going to be massively diluted if they can’t guarantee they come as a couple. Where Rangers play in the future will certainly be a consideration of any potential buyer and, as The Times notes, right now the club are not an easy sell.

Dave King, a Castlemilk lad who made his fortune in post apartheid South Africa, seems the man most likely to take over from David Murray. He’s rich and he’s a Rangers fan which will be seen as all that’s needed in a saviour. On the other hand he’s also the subject of some controversy due to his creative, offshore accounting. The South African authorities were understandably miffed to find out that King, who claimed to be below the tax threshold, was in fact the country’s richest man. He says he’s innocent and, if the cash is there, few questions will be asked of him.

Although, as the Wall Street Journal points out, Rangers already have a new owner in the shape of Downing Street’s most famous Raith fan.

Showing all the optimism of denial the Rangers pages on Vital Footballare already naming likely candidates to replace Smith when King takes over. Billy Davies is hotly tipped at the moment. That would seem to make sense. Having been at Nottingham Forest for a matter of months now Davies will be looking for a way out and everything about his managerial career suggests he is the man to bring the stability that Ibrox craves.

In The Record Jim Traynor advises Walter Smith to get out now with his reputation intact and before the sale of half the team forces him to steer a sinking ship. The speed with which King, or AN Other, can assume control will have a major part to play in Walter’s future although as I pointed out yesterday he must now be reaching the end of his tether.

Martin Samuel ignores catastrophic cash shortages to go straight for the jugular of the Old Firm going down south question. We don’t need them and we don’t need there barbaric bigotry harrumphs the big man. Apparently Rangers and Celtic going down south would run the risk of turning 15 year olds from Bristol into vile sectarian monsters due to their sudden exposure to Old Firm internet forum. This seems a specious argument based on the premise that teenage Bristolians are already easily led twats and ignoring the many years and generations of hatred that it takes to become truly vile.

It’s also to turn a blind eye to the less than stunning behaviour of some English fans. Are sectarian chants worse than chants about Munich or Hillsborough? Or is it all just proof that wherever large crowds gather a minority will be unable to resist the urge to act like total plonkers?

So there it is. Not quite the millions of theories Chick promised but quite enough to be getting on with. Interesting times, indeed.

How to Escape Archie

A career that has been marked by periods of sustained buffoonery has surely reached its nadir with Rangers UEFA Cup run.

That Archie Macpherson is still around says something quite horrific about the quality of Scottish commentary. If Rangers had scored or conceded half the number of goals that, at first sight, Archie has thought have gone in then we would now be lauding the most exciting European campaign in history.

A fascinating insight into Archie's own little world came during the bore draw with Sporting at Ibrox. Clearly confused that a snooker legend was playing for Rangers Archie took it upon himself to rename Steven Davis. Thus it was an explosive run from Neil Davidson that did absolutely nothing to threaten the direness of the match.

Elsewhere Scotsport will give us the chance to see Andy Walker's continuing battle to master the autocue and, with luck, the strangulated vowels of Terry Butcher.

Funnily enough Terry's Wikipedia entry contains the following statement:

"For some bizarre reason, even though Butcher lived in Sydney for less than a year, he now speaks with an Australian accent."

Amusing though that is, Terry has always spoken like that. A peripatetic childhood to blame I think.

So if you can't stomach Scotsport where else can you go?

Drive to Berwick: Watch the main ITV network coverage of the game. But that will mean putting up with Matt Smith. And Andy Townsend. Andy Walker and Archie might be bad. But at least they're bad and Scottish.

Radio Scotland: The commentary will be better. But you'll have to put up with the increasingly cliquey cronyism of Richard Gordon and the mob. And Chick Young will be there.

Radio Five: Provides the best commentary throughout the season for the EPL and the Champion's League. Scottish coverage mostly kept to a minimum though and may struggle to cope with Rangers being centre stage. Manchester venue also gives opportunities to speak mainly about Sven, United and next week's "big" final.

Watch something else: BBC1 has The Apprentice (Boys). Might Sir Alan strike upon his trickiest challenge yet: make a programme for Scottish TV that is worth more than a bucket of warm spit. Channel 4 has Half Ton Dad (if any young Rangers fans are missing pops he might appear on this if you don't catch him cavorting half naked in the stadium).

Go out: not to a pub with a TV obviously. Unless it's a Celtic pub where you'll probably get a rerun of the Lisbon Lions.

By George, keep it shut. Or a Chick has kittens

"They are being punished for their success in reaching the Uefa Cup final. And it's something that the SPL and everyone in Scottish football has got to look at."

Not a Rangers insider talking but national manager George Burley. This is getting really dull and I'm not sure that Burley really needs to weigh in. He's apparently upset that he's had to pick Rangers players for his next Scotland squad despite the seven games they still have to play.

I'd like to ask George why his team are playing a friendly at this stage of the season? I'd like to ask why he needs to see the Rangers players after the 555 games they have played already this season?

And why only blame the SPL? If we need an extension then could George not have picked up the phone and persuaded his own paymaster to move the date of the Cup Final back by a week. Why not? If Rangers are being treated so badly the cup final could surely have been sacrificed.

Unsurprisingly George has one supporter though. Little Chick Young, invoking Jimmy Shand, Christopher Columbus and Morecambe and Wise in a blistering (in his own mind) few sentences, argues that this is the time to "put a bomb" under the administration of our game.

Now Chick is right that the SPL needs to be changed, although he does rather forget the role that Rangers played in creating it, but the season has to end some time.

And Chick forgets that allowances have already been made for Rangers, he forgets that if our league is not geared to success in Europe then the Old Firm are the victims of their own failures, he forgets that he was vocal in supporting the insurrection that got the Old Firm games cancelled before Scotland played Italy.

So there we have it. Walter Smith has accepted the fixture schedule as it now stands. But David Murray, the incredible reappearing owner, George Burley, the national manager trying desperately to make people care about a nothing game, and little Chick Young, the pantomime dame of Scottish football, stand united in raging against a decision that will not be reversed.

Please can we get on with the game.

A Chick for Christmas

Christmas is nearly upon us. And the pantomime horse of Scottish football, Chick Young, is at it again.

In yet another column devoted to Rangers, the die hard St Mirren fan, waxes lyrical about Jock Wallace and the relative merits of Paul Le Guen.

The Murder Hills at Gullane beach are mentioned as Chick harks back to a simpler time when football was stuck in the dark ages.

Chick, never the brightest of boots in the kitbag and a man whose career defies any measure of quality, is entitled to his opinions.

But why does he mention Rangers signing Scott Brown in particular? I would guess that in January there will, at the most conservative estimate, be 50 players available for less money than Brown who could improve Rangers.

Indeed Chick himself would probably improve Rangers. At least he’d play for the jersey.

I’m sure Chick laughs at non-Old Firm fans when they speak of media conspiracies. Mostly I’d agree with him.

But Scott Brown is a Hibs player on a long term contract who has had a transfer request turned down.

So why does Chick mention him other than to stoke the flames of rumour and gossip that are licking at the doors of Easter Road? And in the week before Hibs play Rangers?

It’s that kind of journalism that annoys people who get their football fix away from Ibrox or Parkhead.

Chick Young. The most popular Buddy in Govan.