Life and death

What do you give to the football who has everything? Well, if they're dead why not give them a football funeral?

Here's what the Midland's Co-op offers:

Birmingham City Football Club funeral service

Midlands Co-operative Funeral Services is the official provider of special funeral service options for Birmingham City Football Club. We offer a range of services enabling you to create a funeral for a lost Blues fan one that reflects their lifelong passion.

Derby County Football Club funeral service

Midlands Co-operative Funeral Services is proud to be the official provider of special funeral service packages for Derby County Football Club. Our services include a specially designed “DCFC” coffin for the ultimate tribute to a lost fan.

When a football club has "an official provider of special funeral service packages" you know that the commercialisation of the game has reached the point of no return.

I discovered this through Hunter Davies' article in this week's New Statesman. (unfortunately it's not online yet - will be soon though I think).

Hunter reports that:

Your ashes don't get scattered on the pitch - clubs are not keen on that. Instead, they dig a plug of turf around the side, shove in the ashes, then replace the plug. Being caring and thoughtful, the Co-op tries to dig as near as possible to where the deceased had his season ticket.

I wrote about football themed wreaths back in 2007. This would seem to take that a step further.

Football ruins my life often enough. I don't want to spend my own afterlife haunted by the memories.