When Two Become Three

I remember once going to watch my brother play football. It was a long, long time ago and it was the sort of Scottish day that was as wet as it was cold.

The sort of day that threatens to drown a diminutive full back and turn a skinny left winger a very unhealthy shade of blue.

The sort of day that might make you despair of a nation that sends ten and eleven year old boys out to play football in such conditions.

The referee obviously didn't share the convinction of the coaches that the game should go ahead.

He pondered, he checked the pitch. And then he set upon a compromise:

"What we'll dae is we'll play three halves instead of two."

The game went ahead. The players had two breaks in which to coax the blood flow back to their extremities. Unfortunate fatalities were avoided.

I was put in mind of this yesterday when I read this:

Michael Beavon, a director of Arup Associates, the company developing the zero-carbon solar technology that can cool the 12 stadiums to be built for the World Cup, told delegates at a Qatar Infrastructure Conference in London that air-cooling could maintain a temperature of around 24 degrees Celsius in the stadiums.


"There is a moderate risk of heat injury to the players between 24C-29C but if you go above that you have high and extreme risk of injury," said Beavon. "The one thing FIFA do say, although it is for guidance, is if it's 32C they will stop a match and play three 30-minute thirds rather than two 45-minute halves.(ESPN)

From the playing field of Midlothian in the 1980s to Qatar's World Cup in 2022.

That's progress. Unless you actually care about the spectacle of the game.

> Fifa have apparently moved to distance themselves from this latest lunacy - a change that would require alterations to the laws of the game. It seems Beavon was floating a balloon and Blatter's battalion have shot it down.

Two breaks would double the amount of time for adverts though. Craven commercialism wrapped up neatly in concern for the health of the players. There will be somebody in the governing body who thinks is an idea worth considering.

Let's All Celebrate and Have a Good Time

He said, he said, but he said, no he said, what he meant, he said.

Yawn and yawn again.

It seems that the laws of bloody mindedness mean that when we have an interesting Old Firm game the post mortem is so unbelievably dull and without merit it sours the whole experience for everyone.

I've nothing to say, nothing to add. I want it to go away really.

But, in the interests of being informative, here is the Laws of the Game section on goal celebrations.

Celebration of a goal

While it is permissible for a player to demonstrate his joy when a goal has been scored, the celebration must not be excessive.

Reasonable celebrations are allowed, but the practice of choreographed celebrations is not to be encouraged when it results in excessive time-wasting and referees are instructed to intervene in such cases.

A player must be cautioned if:

• in the opinion of the referee, he makes gestures which are provocative, derisory or inflammatory
• he climbs on to a perimeter fence to celebrate a goal being scored
• he removes his shirt or covers his head with his shirt
• he covers his head or face with a mask or other similar item

Leaving the field of play to celebrate a goal is not a cautionable offence in itself but it is essential that players return to the field of play as soon as possible.

Referees are expected to act in a preventative manner and to exercise common sense in dealing with the celebration of a goal.

The Laws Of The Game (PDF)