"Oh my God!" you say. "But that would mean Labour would go from government to being the smallest party. Astonishing."
And you'd be right in every way, except that you'd be wrong.
Because those figures would actually give Labour the most seats, with the Tories in second and the Lib Dems back on only 100.
So Labour would be the largest party in parliament by virtue of getting trounced.
Why I am highlighting this potential eccentric quirk in our democracy in the rambling introduction to what is ostensibly an SPL prediction article?
Partly it's to have a long hard laugh at David Cameron.*
Mainly though it's because I think that by the end of the weekend St Johnstone will be ahead of Hearts on goal difference.
Except they won't be ahead of the them. They'll be in seventh and Hearts will be in sixth.
The SPL is many things. But as long as we have the split it is not a league. At least not in the way an infant school pupil with a rudimentary understanding of what a league is would understand it.
As for British democracy. Well, let's not go there.
All of this will probably be academic. It depends on my predictions being correct and, as regular readers will be all too aware, that's rarer than genuine wit at a leaders' debate.
I have written a more comprehensive preview of the games but the site that hosts it seems to be down. I'll get a link up as soon as I can.
In the meantime:
- Celtic v Hibernian (12.15): Is the season not over yet? v Is the season not over yet? Home win.
- Aberdeen v Falkirk: Freefalling v Hanging on in there. Draw.
- Hamilton v Kilmarnock: Scrambling to safety v Still stuck in the mess. Home win.
- St Johnstone v St Mirren: Slumming it v Bedsit Buddies. Home win.
- Rangers v Hearts (12.30, Sunday): Champions elect v Hibee hunters. Home win.
- Motherwell v Dundee United (4.15, Sunday): Running out of steam v Full steam ahead. Away win.
*Please note that other, less shiny faced, party leaders are also available for ridicule.
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