Cryptic Vlad Hits Out Again

Well, I suppose it has been a week since he last spoke out. Once again using Hearts' official website as the conduit for his tirade, Vladimir Romanov has waded back into his row with the media.

The latest statement read:

Dear Monkeys,

Today I will not be showing your portrait to you. It is pointless. You are one step away from becoming human beings.

Go and carefully have a look at yourself in the mirror. Don't you see a human in it?

Stop fighting for the values which the ex-captain of Hearts was fighting for.

Education and truthful information - that should be your input to humankind.

Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it.

This is unworthy even of a monkey.

Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies.

To discuss whether referees take money or not is the same as discussing a woman who gives herself with no love.

Isn't it better to concentrate on the standard of their work instead of looking for reasons for their poor performance?

A woman cheats herself and nature if she gives herself without love. If a referee officiates a game based on his personal love, he commits a cynical crime, especially when the public has trusted him.

I respect those referees who take money from two stupid teams and then honestly officiates a game. They do not harm football in any way. Though it is bad, still everybody is equal for them. Perhaps that is the reason why football in Italy will never die despite all the scandals that continuously shake it.

I think that is much better than being the champions for 40 years while building up the same system for further 40 years.

Now it has become obvious to me why you, the Monkeys, were trying to ruin Hearts not only in the Championship, but in European competitions as well. I think it was not without your help that the 'frozen' referee from Russia was selected to officiate our match and that in the games against the Greek side we got three red cards.

It is not without your help that traitors were presented as heroes thus showing the road to children for betrayal.

You will always call teachers silly because unlike you they lead children along the correct path.
Protecting your values in that way just spoils not only football, but also a Scotsman's proud name.

I beg you Mowgli, take the monkeys back to the Safari Park!

What is that all about?

I really have no idea.

The media are obviously targets again. Steven Pressley - who surely now must regret that confidentiality agreement - is again accused of betrayal. And the Scottish press will be delighted to learn that they can influence the officials in European games as well as dictate the winners of the SPL!

Bribery of officials is, it seems, just about acceptable as long as the officials remain honest in their dishonesty. And we now know that as well as being a fan of Sir Walter Scott, Romanov is also not beyond the odd Rudyard Kipling reference as well. Although, of course, Mowgli was a prisoner of the monkeys not their leader.

Other than that? Who knows? As a statement intended for clarification it fails miserably. I guess all I can say is that when outsiders choose a football value system for their children to follow they'd probably opt for Steven Pressley's above Vladimir Romanov's right now.

Where does it leave Hearts?

Again I don't know. But it does ensure that the owner will again be on the back (and front) pages of the papers tomorrow. And nobody will be discussing the team. If that is Romanov's aim then you've got to congratulate him on successfully completing his mission!

The saga continues...